Monday, January 31, 2005

One of my PhD applications is finally finished, thank goodness. Two more to go. Hopefully I should have both of those finished by the end of the week. I'm still hacking and coughing a little bit from the flu bug I had last week. I do have to admit I'm a little bit queesy right now as well. Although that is probably due to fact that the boy took me to a Chinese buffet just a bit ago.

Monday, January 24, 2005

So, I'm still sick, of course. I think I may actually survive it this time.

My PhD applications are coming along moderately well. My biggest frustration is with my lack of a really good writing sample. Somehow I seem to have done my masters without ever REALLY writing a research paper by myself. I'm very proud of a paper I co-authored last semester, which will be included as a part of my writing sample. However, I need some work that is just mine to accompany this co-authored piece. Now that all seemed very simple to begin with, until I really began looking at the writing I've done over the last year and realized that I don't have anything that is really written as an academic piece that I like. Heck, I don't even have anything that could be molded into something I really like. I think I may have come up with two pieces that might work, although I do not feel that they are as strong as I want them to be. I believe I will send one short article reaction essay and a paper comparing my experiences with the experiences of a friend and then comparing that to concepts in the literature (which is all well and good except that the paper is therefore written in the exact opposite order that it needs to be in). *sigh* I'm just terrified that it won't be good enough. And I had forgotten exactly how low my undergraduate GPA really was until I found my transcript this morning. Whew...that was so much lower that I would have liked. Those early classes when I was the wrong major really killed me. But at least these types of programs give you the opportunity to explain those types of circumstances.

At any rate, I suppose I'll either get in or I won't. Really it is as simple as that. It's just terribly disheartening to look at the applications where they want to know things like your professional memberships (of which I have none) and your academic accomplishments and awards (of which I also have none). It just makes me very nervous.

Friday, January 21, 2005

Oh my, this is not good at all.

I'm getting sick.

Like I said, not good at all.

I woke up this morning with a little soreness on one side of my throat. Everything seemed fine for a while, but over the past four hours things seem to have gotten worse. The situation is deteriorating rapidly at this point. The soreness has gotten worse and has now migrated to the rest of my body. My eyes are refusing to stay really open, so I am constantly squinting. As badly as I want to go home from work, the entire idea of going out into the 16 degree F (feels like 3 degrees F), snow covered, bright as heck outdoors does not seem like a journey I might survive. Yes, I'm a whiner, I know. But seriously, this is rapidly sucking my will to live, as one of my friends would say.

Other than the sickness, I would like to take this opportunity to whine about my stress level. These PhD applications are about to push me over the edge. I am terrified that no one will want me as a doctoral student or that I won't be offered an assistanceship and thus won't be able to go. It's also freaking me out that everybody else is freaking out since I haven't ACTUALLY sent in my applications yet and they are due by Feb. 1st. If everyone else would calm down, I would be fine.

I cried in the parking lot this morning because the stress finally got to me. I feel a meltdown coming on.


Alright, I think I'm going to drag my sick body out to the car and try to go home. Maybe if I take some nice medicine and pass out for a few hours I will feel a little more like a human being.

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Ooo, it's been a long time. I didn't realize exactly how long it has been since the last time I posted here. It seem like an incredible amount has happened since that time, but I'm still exactly where I was to begin with. I don't think I ever intended to stop posting, somehow time just seems to get away from me (on a consistent basis, apparently).

To make a long story short, I've got this semester and then the summer before my M.A. is finished, I'm currently STRESSING over PhD applications, and I'm teaching and working in addition to taking my normal class load. (Oh shit, that reminds me that I've got internship logs due tomorrow.) I'd really like to get back to posting here on a more regular basis.