Sunday, September 30, 2001

EEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!! :)
Hmmm...my mom was right, flying actually has gotten cheaper. Over a weekend, the base fare looks like about $103 to fly Northwest (from their website), or $96 from a search on Netscape. Now of course this is looking incredibly tempting, obviously. Anyway, just my observation.

I have a doctor's appointment in the morning. I can't forget about that...

Thursday, September 27, 2001

That girl is singing in the bathroom again. No, I don't mean singing in the shower...I mean singing on the toilet. Ugh, that's just not right!

Wednesday, September 26, 2001

"Some days are diamonds, Some days are rocks..."
~Tom Petty, 'Walls'


Ever notice that there's a Tom Petty song that applies to any situation? This just seriously isn't my week. I didn't do as well on my calc test as I had hoped...in fact, I don't even want to talk about that, so don't ask. My head is hurting again right now. I'm fully convinced that the people in the financial aid office are complete morons. I have a million things to do, and not nearly enough time to get them done. I just called a friend of mine who I was supposed to have dinner with tonight, and she said she was eating with other people. Now I know who she was eating with, and I could have gone along...but I just can't deal with people like that right now. And on top of that, I just want to go home right now, even though I know I don't have time to do that. This just hasn't been a spectacular week for me, I'm ready for Friday...
Yay! I'm finally getting that zebra print dress I've been lusting after! :)

Monday, September 24, 2001

Woo hoo...our very own Danny is a serious hottie! lol, Imagine that! :) He was persuasive enough to get me to dig out my webcam, and crawl around behind my computer to find my USB port by touch alone! How often does stuff like that happen? Not very often! Anyway, so i dug out my camera and got to see one of my best online friends for real...sorta at least. Besides, I don't think my boyfriend minded at all, especially since that meant he and I got to use netmeeting too. :)

Sunday, September 23, 2001

I had the strangest dream last night. I dreamed I was pregnant...how random is that?

Thursday, September 20, 2001

Ugh, I just finished an entire bowl of rice and chicken with soy sauce. Yes, I know that soy sauce is basically glorified liquid salt, but it tastes good sometimes! Anyway, so I was totally starving this morning. I always get hungry after...well, ya know. And I missed breakfast this morning so I could write that essay (super easy, took like 45 minutes, so we'll see what my grade looks like). So anyway, I was just about to die from lack of nutrition by the time lunch showed up. But now my tummy is full and I'm feeling much better. And I don't even have to go to work today, ya just can't go wrong with that.

Ah, another interesting part of my day...so I decided to wear this shirt that I got on vacation. Now when I bought this, I didn't try it on, I didn't really think about the fact that it might look the way it did. So I put on my water bra (love that water bra!), and toss this shirt on, and then look in the mirror...and my goodness, I've got the semblance of some real cleavage for the first time in my adult life! I'm sure you can imagine my suprise at this discovery. And as thrilled as I was about this, I was rather nervous about just wearing it the way it was, because I kept feeling like I was just going to come right out of the shirt (besides, I'm going to the doctor today and that just wouldn't look very professional to be falling out of my shirt). So I stuck a tank top under it, and it's all good now.

Just felt like sharing...I'm gonna go take a nap now.

Wednesday, September 19, 2001

My head hurts... :(

Monday, September 17, 2001

Ever notice how things always feel at least a bit better after a shower? They do.

Somebody chalked anti-war messages all around our campus on the sidewalks. It was very interesting to see.
*hisses at professor who is absolutely no help at all*

Nasty little man...
There's this spot on my jeans, just above my left knee, where they're snagged. There's just these two little threads pulled out of place.

I deleted my real diary entry from last night. After giving more thought to my conversation with Danny last night, I decided that that entry wasn't the best way to handle things. I needed to get that out at the time, but in the light of morning, it served no purpose other than to show my own stupidity.

There are so many things in the world that were so much more important than that, it just wasn't worth it.
I think I over-reacted last night. This morning, I'm just tired, and a little bit sad and empty inside. I shouldn't get so upset.
The secret of life is gettin' up early
The secret of life is stayin' up late
The secret of life is try not to hurry
But don't wait
Don't wait

The secret of life is a good cup of coffee
The secret of life is keep your eye on the ball
The secret of life is to find the right woman
The secret of life is nothin' at all

~Faith Hill, 'The Secret of Life'


So, that was the song of the day today (technically, yesterday). Things lately make you wanna ask Sam exactly what the secret of life really is sometimes.

Saturday, September 15, 2001

"Life must go on;
I just forget why."
~Edna St. Vincent Millay ("Lament")


That's certainly what it seems like sometimes these days. Everyone is worried about someone. Worried about someone who was in one of the buildings. Worried about someone who was near one of the buildings. Or worried about somebody who might get called to go to war any day now.

I've been reading alot of other diaries lately to see how everyone else is dealing with this. I think the things that upset me the most are the people who expressed that this was "our fault". That America has been bullying other countries around for a very long time, so we shouldn't be suprised that somebody finally got mad about it. Yes, I'm sure that it was totally our fault. I mean, it's just incredibly wrong that America sends aid to other coutries when they have disasters, and tries to help them enjoy the same freedoms that we do. So very wrong of us to do that. [/sarcasm]

Things are very frightening these days. People keep saying we're going to have a war. That frightens me. I worry about Matt, and Danny, and Justin, and so many others.

Tuesday, September 11, 2001

I can't even believe what's happened today. It's just completely unfathomable. The number of people who died, the children who died, the children who don't have parents anymore...it's just shattering. Those pictures of the plane hitting, and the towers falling...we won't ever forget those. That video of the woman waving from the window for help, and then she was just gone. The people leaping from those upper floors. And the video of the people dancing and celebrating the fact that innocent people thousands of miles away, who had never set foot on their soil, were dead and dying. It makes me sick, and sad, and utterly terrified that this has happened here...where it's supposed to be safe. This just wasn't supposed to happen. I just pray for all those people and their families.

People are scared, everyone. And with good reason...our generation has never seen anything like this. My mom says she remembers the exact moment when she found out Kennedy was assisinated, I'll tell my children that I remember the exact moment I heard about this.

I really am afraid.
Oh my God...that's all I can think right now. This just isn't supposed to happen. It just isn't. I'm so scared, so scared....we're essentially at war now. All those people...all those innocent people died. They didn't know, they had never done anything, and they all died. Just gone. Gone. Life as we know it has ended...I used to feel so safe, and now I'm just scared. So afraid...all those people...

For the first time, I understand how my grandma felt when the war started. She and my grandpa weren't married yet, they got married just before he had to go. I understand now how she must have felt. Somebody mentioned enlisting when I was in class today, and I swear I about threw up on the spot. I felt sick when I heard about all those people dying, and terrified because we're no longer safe...but when it hit me that my boyfriend, and people I know and love might have to go if it gets bad enough...God, that just shocked me to the core. I can't even wrap my mind around this...war. We're essentially at war.

People are dying...people were dying while I was having breakfast...

God help us all...

Saturday, September 08, 2001

Oh oh, I almost forgot...I got cheese balls today! :)
Well, on the positive side, it appears that my telephone is working correctly again. This is a very good thing, because I'm just not happy when my phone isn't working. So, what did I accomplish today? I went grocery shopping and did my laundry. I didn't get as much of my homework done as I would have liked, but at least I did get my reading almost done for my history class, so that was definately a good thing.

Thursday, September 06, 2001

My wishlist...
* Long bubble bath
* Backrub
* Foot massage
* Plate of fetticini with chicken or shrimp
* Someone to do my homework for me
* My boyfriend...preferably naked...

Tuesday, September 04, 2001

I've just been having the very best day today, really! This new class I signed up for is just way too cool, my job is going to be great (cause it's not difficult at all, and they said I can completely make my own hours!), and I noticed that the CVS in my parking garage has a rather extensive selection of condoms. And no, I didn't go into CVS just to look at that, I don't even need condoms right now. But I did need a couple of other things, and they were in the same aisle as the condoms, which led to me noticing the large selection (still only 3 brands, and still a bit pricey, but definately a better selection that I've seen anywhere else thus far). Oh, and I don't even have lab today!

"...how cool is that?"

Monday, September 03, 2001

Ah yes, so I'm incredibly excited to be getting out of this class that I'm dropping. I think I'm going to try to take another Tuesday/Thursday class in its place, so that I'll have only missed one class period so far. I went over just a few minutes ago, and discovered that as long as I change the class very soon, I don't even need advisor approval. So, this means that I can spend the afternoon finding a class that will work into my schedule and just switch them out. I can feel my stress level getting lower even as I type this. :) I'm so proud of myself because it appears I've finally learned how to admit that maybe there are some things I just can't do yet, and to admit that soon enough to get myself out of it before it causes a problem. Yay for me!

Sunday, September 02, 2001

Heather was right...when shopping at trashy.com, one should stick completely to the bargin section. Because the rest of the catalog really does make you wonder how much lingerie you could get in exchange for your soul! ;)
So it's official, I'm getting the hell out of one of my classes while I still can! I sat here for an hour trying to do my homework, and it's just not happening. I just don't know enough calc to do it, so I'm gonna try to get out while I still can. Right now I'm working on finding another course to replace it, and first thing in the morning, I've got to haul my butt over to the engineering office and try to get someone to tell me who I have to talk to so I can officially change my major so that I'll get a new advisor and I can change this course. The last day I can do that without it showing up on my academic record is Wednesday, so I've got to get on it! Ugh, nasty calc! I'm gonna try to take something easy instead, cause my entire schedule is just insane, and I think I deserve an easier class.

Saturday, September 01, 2001

Ah yes, so it's been a couple of hours, and what have I accomplished? Nothing at all. I did talk to my family for quite a long time though, so that was good. Then I decided it was time for dinner. Tonight's menu for me consisted the smallest Cup O' Noodles I've ever seen, a bowl of Special K with Red Berries, and a can of Sprite. And now I'm sitting here watching the World's Scariest Places on FOX Family. That show is rather amusing. Not quite as good as Fear on MTV, but still quite interesting anyway.
"...can you fill me in?"

So what am I doing on this extremely profitable Saturday? Nothing at all. I'm sitting here listening to Craig David, typing in here, trying to decide whether or not I'm really gaining weight, and wondering whether our plant needs watered again, and considering the possibility of a new "real" diary entry. Now of course there are things I need to be doing, many of which I've decided to actually get started doing in a few minutes (after i try to call my family again, I think). Alright alright...I'm going to actually get to it...

By the way, sign the guestbook...tell me something interesting.

"...now you're dressed in black, when I left you were dressed in white..."